I never asked to be born yet I'm here and forced to suffer. There's no meaning to it so I'm forced to "find my own meaning". So basically, do what makes me happy right? But then I happened to be born into circumstances which makes getting things that "normally" make people happy extremely difficult. So I can't even distract myself with those things. So what's left are vices like entertainment and drugs but if I spend my life on those I'm supposedly not allowed to complain because I'm not trying hard enough to "improve"? So I'm just supposed to keep improving for something I might not ever get or know would make me happy even if I did? And if did end up not even enjoying "normal things" I'm judged for not being able to "find my own meaning" even though I never asked for that task to begin with. What's even the point here?