>um actually my insane parasocial orbiting and high-school tier gossiping about an e-clown who makes funny videos is better because it appeals to my beliefs
You're still talking like teenagers about a man who you've never known, and who you never will know above a surface level as if you have their entire life figured out... by watching YouTube compilations and Twitch streams. You think you're outside the circus of weirdos but you're just the centerpiece of another attraction in the same freakshow.