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7/5/2025, 8:15:36 PM
>>40289005
>siganon
Ah, I’m not siganon, I’m shinjianon. But I guess it’s not as obvious these days due to my file names changing… Sorry if I’ve been the source of any confusion.
>are *you* safe?
I’m trying to be. Right now it’s better than it’s been in a long time, which has me a bit on edge. But I’m trying.
>No, not that I'm aware of.
Hm, I see.
Your current thought patterns circling around the past are probably making it even harder to pick up on smaller things in the present, if I had to guess. Right now it sounds like it’s stuck in survival mode, readying for known threats.
If you can, making a detailed list of what happened prior to your last few breakdowns can sometimes help make the patterns and any potential triggers clearer. But it’s probably going to take a few of them before you start noticing anything of value.
>I need to forget somehow
Feeling a need to forget lines up well with your previous posts, but forgetting completely may not be in your best interest in the long run. Being stuck thinking about it isn’t a desirable state to be in either though, so I can understand wanting it to stop.
One potential way of letting yourself pause it for later is by writing timelines and logs, then physically (or digitally) shoving them to the side once you’re done with them. This can lessen the load on your brain short term by letting it know that it has all the details written down for later if needed, in much the same way as writing a list for shopping groceries does. But as with everything else it doesnt always work and takes a bit of practice.
>There shouldn’t logically be a cause-and-effect relationship
Memories can be strange like that, yes. My unqualified guess would be that the fun fair marks the “last drop” in a long string of bad experiences, and with your one coping method being confiscated (your PC) it left you to absorb the feeling to its fullest. But thats just a guess.
>(1/2)
>siganon
Ah, I’m not siganon, I’m shinjianon. But I guess it’s not as obvious these days due to my file names changing… Sorry if I’ve been the source of any confusion.
>are *you* safe?
I’m trying to be. Right now it’s better than it’s been in a long time, which has me a bit on edge. But I’m trying.
>No, not that I'm aware of.
Hm, I see.
Your current thought patterns circling around the past are probably making it even harder to pick up on smaller things in the present, if I had to guess. Right now it sounds like it’s stuck in survival mode, readying for known threats.
If you can, making a detailed list of what happened prior to your last few breakdowns can sometimes help make the patterns and any potential triggers clearer. But it’s probably going to take a few of them before you start noticing anything of value.
>I need to forget somehow
Feeling a need to forget lines up well with your previous posts, but forgetting completely may not be in your best interest in the long run. Being stuck thinking about it isn’t a desirable state to be in either though, so I can understand wanting it to stop.
One potential way of letting yourself pause it for later is by writing timelines and logs, then physically (or digitally) shoving them to the side once you’re done with them. This can lessen the load on your brain short term by letting it know that it has all the details written down for later if needed, in much the same way as writing a list for shopping groceries does. But as with everything else it doesnt always work and takes a bit of practice.
>There shouldn’t logically be a cause-and-effect relationship
Memories can be strange like that, yes. My unqualified guess would be that the fun fair marks the “last drop” in a long string of bad experiences, and with your one coping method being confiscated (your PC) it left you to absorb the feeling to its fullest. But thats just a guess.
>(1/2)
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