i've been fapping since 2019, nowadays i'm still trying to stop even though i can't, my fetishes and kinks are the main things that trigger my urge to fap. every single fucking time i do this i feel disgusted and dirty, i don't cry, but i feel like killing myself, and to make matters worse, i don't have any hobbies to avoid, i don't do anything daily, literally nothing, you know what i'm talking about, right. in case i get asked things like “what are your kinks and fetishes?” i might not provide them, only if i'm comfortable. btw if it matters, i don't watch real porn, i only watch fictional porn (anime). i accept any advice, unless it is negative and from an ignorant person.

no off-topic, plz.