>>40238263
>Benched 3x5 200 lbs today.
That is pretty cool, I assume you are >>40270503?
>>40242169
>>40242200
I'm happy to hear things are moving along on that front!
>frankly I intensely dislike leaving any aspect of my transition in the hands of anyone but myself
Do you often feel like you should carry the sole responsibility for things related to you? or is it just because transition "the official™ way" is still such a clunky process in many aspects?
>I guess my deadline has to be whenever I'm free of training
that is done and dealt with in a matter of.. a year, maybe two? Just a ballpark.
>fear of rejection and negative judgement
That, at least in my experience, gets easier if you have someone you feel comfortable being open with, so I will focus on that.
>i had no interest in social relationships as a repper
That makes perfect sense, and as you said, the next step is essentially being openly trans in a space where you feel you can afford to be.
>Idk, I wish I had a productive course of action
Let's rattle off what LGBT places you have access to, perhaps? On and offline, as a start?
As for...
>but really I should tell my family beforehand incase I get outed on bloodtests.
>there's no way they'd see me as doing anything but being immensely irrational.
I agree it is delicate, and sooner is better since you can then mop up the fallout before you know the result, I suppose. I have a suggestion for you, regarding how to deal with it once the inevitable pushback happens. It is a technique designed for talking to people with dementia but it actually is an amazing tool to engage with people when they are having strong emotional reactions: VERA. I made picrel, the original thread is actually about someone deescalating a mother's freakout over her apparently ftm kid.
>>40272339
Absolutely wonderful progress! This reminds me a lot of my own graph autism, you might remember me also having done predictive models in the past when I was losing weight.