>>39916805
>I took conversion therapy willingly
I am not sure I follow, what's your letter, and what did that look like? I assume you are mtf and were transbian/bi, and tried to foster your androphilic parts?
>Can you get me a idea of what to do to self esteem boost?
What are the things you value in other people? What are things you consider your own strengths and weaknesses?
>>39916838
One thing that can help is to ask yourself: do you find other people flirting pathetic?
>>39917589
I promise, I do my best on that front. It's rough. I am okay but let's just say chances are I will attend a funeral soon. How soon is impossible to know. Could be two weeks. Either way, I am truly blessed not only with the kindness of you anons, but also my friends online and IRL. It's immensely humbling and I am so, so grateful for it all.
>>39923082
Seconding what the other anon said, would love to hear more!
>>39923178
Welcome, Anon. I am glad you came here, sorry if I myself won't be able to contribute much to trans stuff. What I can tell you is that a definite "transition now" point is when you find that masculinity becomes something that actively emotionally erodes you. If you find yourself dissociating, if you experience memory loss or other common signs of long-term trauma, immediately see to getting checked whether it is repression of the trans sort.
>I generally do loathe myself for a variety of reasons
Would it be alright to discuss the reasons you hate yourself in more detail?