I wanted to try being topped so I let this guy hit on grinder.

I arrive, we talked and we go upstairs.
I sucked him off and he said I suck penis awkwardly whatever that means.

I couldn't really get it up because nerves and I gooned a lot that day so we move on to butt stuff

I lay down and he massages my prostate I feel like a girl its so nice

He puts it in and it hurts A LOT but I take it
I don't really enjoy it half the time it feels painful but I don't want to stop now I am here

He finishes inside
He says I'm not a virgin because my butt isn't really tight (wtf)

He seems smug and happy
I leave

I go back another time and he is more dominant, pulling my hair and head up and wiping his d on my face

I kinda liked it but my butt doesn't

Years later I pay a brothel to dominate me, they humiliate and dom me. Love it.

Am I even a man atp?
I usually dom but why do I like being a submissive bitch?

Someone explain