If I hear the sound of a car's horn, even if it's from far away, I can't help but feel that I'm in the way somehow. So, I don't want to ride cars. As for taxis, well, it's bad to not let them drive far, so I get this obsessive idea that I have to let them drive really far... And if I were to go by taxi, and someone I know would see me, I get this obsessive idea that they would think "he sure seems to be well off, acting like he is someone" so I'm not taking any taxis. And if I'm going by train, I get this obsessive idea that when I'm putting my ticket in the ticket gate, it won't let me pass through, so to be able to show that I'm innocent as quickly as possible at emergencies like that, I'm making sure that I'm using the ticket gate that is closest to the station attendant. If the other passengers get stuck because of me and keep staring coldly at me, cowards like me die. So this is wisdom I need to be able to live. I'm also making sure to not go to stores with systems preventing shoplifting, as much as I can. In the remote case that I go to one, I'm making sure to not bring a bag with me when I'm doing my shopping, so that I can prove my innocence as quickly as possible. In the remote case that the buzzer rings and the other costumers keep staring coldly at me, cowards like me die. So this is wisdom I need to be able to live.
So, this is just what I am like, but I have no obsessive ideas regarding deadlines. I wonder why?