yeah i know 5 thousand ppl are gonna respond "same" but i started transitioning at 19 (basically 20 since it was 3ish months before my birthday) and now im almost 6 months hrt and i think i should stop. the main reason besides it not doing anything about me being ugly is i just feel like if i was actually trans i wouldve realized sooner. everyone else has these moments at like 4 or 6 or whatever and for me i dont remember ever once actively wishing i could be a girl (until 15? i think?) and it was always just this vague subconscious rejection of how i look and how im forced to act and whatever. and no female socialization whatsoever. i never even had female friends until i was like 10 and even tho they became some of my best friends it only lasted like a year and i never saw them again. and now im 5'11 with a bricky body so even if i wanted to try to socialize with women it would be awkward and intrusive. i look at youngshits with envy like everyone else but the part that always gets me is not that they can pass easier, its that they had more time to socialize with girls as a girl and it makes me sad im an ogrehon. it might not be the best reason to stop hrt because the idea of being a man still makes me want to kms but if i cant be a woman while trying (and failing hard) ill just do that anyway.

>Status
NEET

>Age, Sex/Gender, Sexuality
20/mtf/bi

>About Yourself, Contact Info
white trans "woman" (in quotes because only a few months into hrt, boymoder basically) interested in art, writing, science, casual vidya, and music (mostly niche indie stuff)

>Location, Will or Will NOT Relocate?
northern utah, usa, will relocate (potentially on my own if its not too far away but may need assistance)

>Looking for
provider to be a roommate with or live-in maid to, im capable of cleaning and a decent amount of cooking and stuff, friends would be nice or a relationship if it got to that point

>Anything else you would like to add? Requirements? Expectations? Preferences? Needs? Wants?
in a very rough spot with my parents rn which is why im looking for a place. i dont have a job or degree but completely willing to get one once i can get away from my current situation. open to living with almost anyone whos open to me