I haven't posted on here in a while. I'm not doing well at the moment guys and I know you don't really care one way or another but I'm scared. I've got (what I hope is) bad Transgender OCD. I'm 26 now, still a virgin (I don't have it in me to really find a partner when I feel this damaged) and I've lost about 5 years to this theme. I don't want to be trans but I'm so worried my brain is going to force it upon me. As a kid I was perfectly happy being a boy and I have never been more miserable ever since having these thoughts enter my mind.

I think my primary sticking point is that I'm a filthy bondage fetishist and I have jerked off to plenty of bondage erotica with submissive men and submissive women. I'm terrified that every time I read femdom stuff and get off to it I am actually enjoying it because I want to be a dominant woman.

Idk even know what I'm trying to say. Do you guys get aroused by sexual scenarios that you don't actually see yourself in?

I'm so fucked guys...I have been in a mental prison for five years. I want to be free and be a man (I hope).