>>510072910

Thanks, Fren. I'm neither the first nor the last, but this kind of pain you go through entirely alone. The most anyone could do is sit there in silence with me.

I believe this is more painful than death. Because once you die the pain is over, but every day I live I relive that death. She carved herself out of me in the worst possible way.

I had a dream not long after the divorce was finalized where we were in our bed, the very one I was asleep in, and I woke up just in time to see her repeatedly stabbing me in the heart. I said to her, in this dream, "I'm sorry" as I died and she held the knife in the air while crying and smiling. I don't know what to make of that, but I know I walk around everyday feeling like I'm being stabbed to death by the one I loved.