>>510072910Thanks, Fren. I'm neither the first nor the last, but this kind of pain you go through entirely alone. The most anyone could do is sit there in silence with me.
I believe this is more painful than death. Because once you die the pain is over, but every day I live I relive that death. She carved herself out of me in the worst possible way.
I had a dream not long after the divorce was finalized where we were in our bed, the very one I was asleep in, and I woke up just in time to see her repeatedly stabbing me in the heart. I said to her, in this dream, "I'm sorry" as I died and she held the knife in the air while crying and smiling. I don't know what to make of that, but I know I walk around everyday feeling like I'm being stabbed to death by the one I loved.