headed to gym. might not get out tonight actually, but will tomorrow for sure, have to lift early and wasn't ready until now, and i probably won't feel like doing anything afterwards. gonna deadlift 200 lbs tonight, which i know is not a lot but it is to me, being so lanky, and it feels like a pretty big number. will bench 185 if i can get a spotter, 180 if not, so it's not like i'm not doing big lifts either. friends, make sure you get to the gym. enemies, don't bother getting up, stay comf.

2nd text ignored... it hurts. and i already told my mom about getting a friend. not to mention all of you guys. i am guessing he's gay. that's starting to make a lot of sense now, he mentioned he had a panic attack in the gym a few days ago while i was there, before we got well-acquainted, the kind of thing that happens when your crush is near. guess it's nice to know i'm looking cute, but i am so lonely and thought i might be able to fix that a little, and a taste of friendship has left me worse off than none at all. gonna have my smoothie and get ready for the gym. maybe i'll ambush him there but i think not, i told him when i was going and he probably just avoids me now. i have other gym friends though, and if i see anyone there at all i'm going to ask them to spot me, wanna bench 180 again. tough day now that it comes down to it. think my love retrenched into the maga cult, got more death threats here but it does look like it was taken care of, thanks feds, at least somebody has my back. also had really bad dreams recently, last one was absolutely horrible. but still optimistic things will change for me. wishing everyone well, be back in a couple hours.