>find old journal from 2020 when I found LOA and Neville
>full of cute stickers, texts, affirmations
>really positive about life and its magical potential
>"OMG I CAN DO MAGIC AND I'M HEALTHY; HAPPY; WEALTHY AND SO ARE MY LOVED ONES!"
>nothing really happened since then and some stuff got objectively worse despite having been more positive and relaxed than ever
>life just keeps going

I feel so bitter and disgusted seeing me scribble like a happy kid thinking I'm some kind of witch who is gonna have a grand adventure. I really want to just rip apart and burn all of that shit, I hate being reminded of being a hopeful fool.

Yeah blog post or whatever, but that's how I feel. Maybe someone can relate or not.