Meanwhile at Nintendo HQ, locked in a supply closet...
>*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*
>"RET ME OUT YOU FUCKING COCK SUCKERS! DONKEY KONG DOES NOT FIGHT ARRIGATORS!"
>*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*
>"YOU CANNOT USE RARUWARU ENEMIES! ONRY TIKIS, WARRUSES, AND EVIR MONKEYS!"