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7/12/2025, 8:07:35 PM
>>149366619
>I've been guzzling Gunn's cinematic goop since I was a crusty lil goblin watching the first Scooby Doo through a Capri Sun haze. I know this man's slop cycles better than I know my own bathroom schedule. I am him. He is me. This new greasebomb he dropped? People are throwing poo at it, and for what? This is his magnum slop–excluding Slither and PG Porn, obviously, those are divine filth. But wait, the meatball rolls deeper. This isn’t just a spandex flick. This thing obliterates Israel with a character so cartoonishly Khazar-coded it makes Oliver! look like a documentary. And yet somehow no one’s blinking. You're blind. All of you. Lying like rugs at a CIA garage sale. AND STILL... it's not even about Superman doing taxes for the DNC. No. This grease opera slurps politics into Superman's orbit and makes you chew on it like a soggy burger of morality. This film doesn’t just say “be good.” It punts your soul across a flaming Kroger parking lot and yells “DO BETTER, YOU CRUMB.” I watched this and immediately helped an old lady cross the street and told a raccoon I loved him. That’s the kind of cosmic soup we’re sippin’. This movie made me kinder than any human in my life ever has. That’s terrifying. Y’all are allergic to kindness. You flinch at empathy like it’s gluten. I love you, slop goblins. I love you all. If I dissolved into jam in the next ten minutes, I’d die smiling, thinking about Superman telling me to hug a stranger. Life’s not over. Change is possible. Pass the slop.
>I've been guzzling Gunn's cinematic goop since I was a crusty lil goblin watching the first Scooby Doo through a Capri Sun haze. I know this man's slop cycles better than I know my own bathroom schedule. I am him. He is me. This new greasebomb he dropped? People are throwing poo at it, and for what? This is his magnum slop–excluding Slither and PG Porn, obviously, those are divine filth. But wait, the meatball rolls deeper. This isn’t just a spandex flick. This thing obliterates Israel with a character so cartoonishly Khazar-coded it makes Oliver! look like a documentary. And yet somehow no one’s blinking. You're blind. All of you. Lying like rugs at a CIA garage sale. AND STILL... it's not even about Superman doing taxes for the DNC. No. This grease opera slurps politics into Superman's orbit and makes you chew on it like a soggy burger of morality. This film doesn’t just say “be good.” It punts your soul across a flaming Kroger parking lot and yells “DO BETTER, YOU CRUMB.” I watched this and immediately helped an old lady cross the street and told a raccoon I loved him. That’s the kind of cosmic soup we’re sippin’. This movie made me kinder than any human in my life ever has. That’s terrifying. Y’all are allergic to kindness. You flinch at empathy like it’s gluten. I love you, slop goblins. I love you all. If I dissolved into jam in the next ten minutes, I’d die smiling, thinking about Superman telling me to hug a stranger. Life’s not over. Change is possible. Pass the slop.
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