I've only shit myself once when I was like 12 with a stomach bug and tried to fart
But otherwise I fart like a fucking fiend every day
Like full on louder than speaking voice ass rips that can go on for 2-5 seconds sometimes
They come in waves though; I'm unfortunately empty now
90% of the time they don't stink, but if they do, then there is 99% chance that a shit is ready to fire off in the next 30 minutes or so

Anyways thanks for reading my blog; I feel blessed and it never fails to make me laugh