Thread 714920886

Be honest, have you ever done it?

>>714920886 (OP)
I've come as close as physically possible without poop actually going into my pants

>>714920886 (OP)
I often go to the bathroom and take a shit

>>714920886 (OP)
Shit my pants or play Mafia 3?
I've only done one of those things and it isn't Mafia 3 ;)

>>714920886 (OP)
I've gambled and lost via a fart once or twice in my life.

no, I haven't played mafia 3

Nope

King of /v/

>>714920886 (OP)
nuh yeh

>>714920886 (OP)
No, much less playing a singleplayer game.
I'd understand if he was playing a ranked FPS or some MMO, but fucking Mafia 3? I just don't get it.

>>714920886 (OP)
Shit my pants intentionally? Yeah when I was like 8 just to see how it felt

>>714920886 (OP)
should i play Mafia 3, /v/?
is it really worth shitting yourself over????

>>714920886 (OP)
i don't know how people can do it, i can hold it for 20-30 mins or so, but is unconfortable as fuck, i go to shit as soon as i can when i feel i need to go, this fucker makes it look like if he can postpone his shitbreak for a day or so after having the urge of shitting.

>>714920886 (OP)
Never purposefully, accidently crapped myself when sick a few times
>>714921554
One time growing up I was pissing outside and wondered what would happen if I pointed my dick straight up while pissing
did not end well

>>714921626
Not yet, it'll be super cheap when the new one comes out

I was really sick once and my mother still made me go to school.
Anyway I shat liquid shit in front of my crush and I never really recovered.

>>714922430
How'd she react?
Did you ever get a chance with her after the fact?

>>714922565
No nigga, she was horrified and every conversation after that was strained and awkward.

>>714920886 (OP)
>tfw you worked on a multi million dollar project for years only for it to be remembered as the pants shitting game

>>714922670
How did you end up liquidating in front of her anyway?

>>714920886 (OP)
noh yeh waht de hewwa

>>714923118
Have you never had a really bad stomach flu? It just comes out randomly, you have maybe a minute from the rumbling to the molten liquid pouring out.

>>714922857
You laugh, but this game is gonna go down in internet history.

>>714920886 (OP)
Yeah once in high school I farted and a lot of diarrhea came out. Went to the lavatory and threw my underwear away.

>>714920886 (OP)
Yes.

I shit myself when I got some sort of stomach infection. Started off with tons of anti soul gas then one controlled release out of the gas canister unloaded a torrent of bill gates water into my pants. Then I shit mostly water with occasional bouts of milkshake poo for hours, took a shower and laid down. Had alternating fever and chills for three days without eating anything just drinking water because I was afraid I'd shit myself again.

>>714920886 (OP)
one time when i was 11 going on a school trip right at the start of it where we couldn't leave the bus for a few hours
the other time when i was 12 in class where the retarded teacher didn't let me go

ever since those happened i can't go to school/work without shitting at home first, gave me ptsd

>>714922857
Without the meme people wouldn't be remembering Mafia 3 at all.

>>714920886 (OP)
I once got the sudden urge to take a shit halfway through an hour long drive. I don't use public restrooms to shit so that was a painful drive home

>>714924453
>Two incidents in two years
What kind of reputation did you have on the schoolyard?

>>714920886 (OP)
Why didn't the mother just threaten to unplug the console?

>>714920886 (OP)
I actually did when I had Covid.
Sneezing plus diarrhea is a horrible thing.

>>714920886 (OP)
Nuh yuht.

>>714924827
Probably cos it would involve going near the containment breach.
Same reason she didn't just drag him off his poothrone to the bathroom

>>714924786
i don't think anyone noticed, well at least the first one since at the first stop i texted my mom not knowing what to do and she told me to throw the underwear somewhere and clean what i can
second one i skipped P.E class by staying inside and one dude moved away from me with judging eyes, instantly ran home as soon as i could

>>714925070
>Be anons mom
>Try so hard to raise a good boy
>He texts you saying he shit himself at school, please advise

>>714920886 (OP)
ive had countless diarrheas sneezes that felt like i painted my underwear brown but thankfully its never passed the cheeks so it doesnt count

>>714921035
but nathan was telling the truth man, he just got scared that he downloaded a virus and his pants slipped down a little that's all

>>714920886 (OP)
>when you shit your pants but it's an intact solid log you had more than enough time to get to the bathroom for.

>>714923275
no, actually i can't even imagine being such a fat, weak retard that i have no control over my sphincter because i've always ate well and exercised since my parents love me

>>714925195
better than the kid in my swimming class who shat himself and just walked around with it while being completely free to go to the bathroom/locker
you could literally see 2 balls of shit just hanging out, i can still vividly see them in my head

>>714925468
ok retard

>>714920886 (OP)
I did it today
I thought I was gonna fart and I did a watery shit in my pants, think it was that old tuna I ate

No but 6 years of school where i never once pissed or shit really trained my renal system good

>>714920886 (OP)
I considered it when I got a match when I was queued up in a fighting game. Fortunately I had a connection error and ran to the bathroom.

>>714920886 (OP)
didnt the guy from this video kill himself recently?

>>714926360
he what

>>714925468
Food poisoning will leave you shitting and vomiting on the bathroom floor and you'll be *happy* that it's happening. You've lived a charmed life if you've never experienced a "real" illness.

a man shitting his pants is this game's entire legacy

>>714926580
Levine's digital daughter being the cum dumpster for an entire generation of SFM artists is the legacy of Infinite, and Lara Croft getting every hole hollowed out by an over-eager stallion is the legacy of Tomb Raider.

>>714926649
Ive never gooned to her

>>714927418
He's talking about Elizabeth from Bioshock infinite you stupid zoomer

>>714927521
Why bot just say Elizabeth then? He said Lara Croft

>>714927618
good morning saar

>>714921143
>sharting
Same, anon. Same.

I sharted one time before and it was EXACTLY like this image. Not even 0.05 seconds after it happened I was already sprinting to the bathroom. This has always been one of the funniest apu's of all time to me because it's 100% accurate and perfectly encapsulates it. Whoever drew this one clearly knew how to capture it perfectly from experience

>>714927618
stay in school, anon.

>>714927618
You need to be 18 years old to post in this website.

>>714927618
>Why bot just say Elizabeth then?
Because he wanted to emphasize Elizabeth's status as the first big example of a Western game-maker developing an unhealthy fixation on their creation. Every strong female character made by childless men in the last 10 years owe their bones to Elizabeth.

And yet, despite this, Elizabeth's legacy is being a whore. That's the joke.

>smoking weed on a Friday night
>start coughing
>shit myself

>>714920886 (OP)
I have never been so unhealthy that I crap my briefs. At worst I sometimes fail to wipe hard enough and some residual poopoo gets in undies. I once shat in the shower when I was very tiny though, dad was furious

>>714925468
You've never really been sick.

>>714926573
I don't live in India, I only ingest pristine food.

>>714920886 (OP)
I have sharted while playing video games unironically

>>714926573
>>714928502
god damn, you're retarded.

>>714920886 (OP)
Only sharted. If I need to shit that badly, worst case i'm dropping my trousers and doing it on the spot. I'll be fucked if i'm going to waddle around with a log of shit in my pants.

>>714927418
Retard

>>714929870
uh huh, sure
Eat some bad oyster and tell me how well your sphincter held up

>>714930584
bros, if you're ever eating seafood and it tastes even slightly off, don't finish your plate. it might save your week

The show must go on.

>>714920886 (OP)
The gamer release...

I raged so hard I shat myself more than once playing Dark Souls 2 back as a drunken retard in college.

>>714928142
lmao holy shit

I've shat myself more than a few times in my life, all of which were times I thought I had to fart but instead I ended up having an acute case of diarrhea.

I need to wear diapers since I've been bottoming for a couple years, but other than that no. It's no big deal really.

>>714922857
it's the same colour as the protagonist

>>714921035
QRD on Nathan?

>>714920886 (OP)
>Be honest, have you ever done it?
When I was a kid NES Batman was so good I literally shat myself.

>>714920886 (OP)
>Enjoyed Mafia 3 despite it's flaws
>The only reason why this game was remembered because some redneck kid shitting his pants
Not sure what to feel about this

>>714927418
Adam Levine LMAO

>>714920886 (OP)
Off the game. Now.

>>714943906
>Kid
He was in his 20's when this happened and is now in his 30's, he still streams.
I wonder what kind of thoughts his mom has at night.

>poop into hand
>eat it
>Keep playing

Reminder real niggas also poop in the shower and waffle stomp it down the drain.

>>714920886 (OP)
??

>>714920886 (OP)
Never shit myself but I definitely put off getting up to piss for way too long. I refuse to lower myself to piss bottle standards though, I'm already subhuman enough.

>>714922857
This is true because I didn't play Mafia 3.

>>714920886 (OP)
Twice that I can remember. The first time was when I was very ill when I was around 8 and my mum forced me to eat some food at the dinner table, when I was halfway through I pretty much began shitting my pants right on the seat while everyone was eating and had to waddle to the toilet after telling my mum.

The second time was more a miscalculation, went down to the shops to get some food and while there I felt the urge and decided to head back. The second I got home I thought I'd grab my 3DS to play something on the throne, big fucking mistake as the time I grabbed it I could feel it releasing. Rushed to the toilet and sat down but it was already too late and it was pretty much everywhere in my pants. Spent the next hour cleaning.

There have been several other close calls and even now as I write this I can feel the urge but luckily those two remain the only instances.

>>714920886 (OP)
Once when I went for a 10k run to a neighboring village, halfway there I felt need to shit so I started speed walking back home and I nearly made it, most of the explosion happened into the toilet but thwre was some leakage before

>>714943742
His pants slipped off and he got scared
https://youtu.be/H821EwB6zbY

>>714951434
You look like a Puertorican whoah, makin me sick

>>714954629
The leakage is the worst because just a little bit and everyone around you can tell.

>>714920886 (OP)
Played a game so shit it stinks up the whole house?
Sure have

>>714957429
Why didn't you get off the game, go to the bathroom, and take a shit?

>>714920886 (OP)
Play Mafia 3? No.

>>714925634
Was it in front of anyone?

>>714920886 (OP)
Gone to the bathroom? Not yet

>>714959087
GO!!!

>>714920886 (OP)
when i got diarrhea or fart came with extra surprise yup

>>714943906
im curious what old country meme will gonna be

I'll admit it, I kind of like Mafia 3 a fair bit. It's formulaic as shit after the opening narrative stuff but it's a decent gameplay loop with satisfying combat and brutal animations and, in my opinion, legitimately has the best licensed soundtrack I've heard in a videogame.
If it's dirt fucking cheap or on the subscription services you could do worse.

How the fuck is /v/ this unhealthy.
I thought my diet was awful but I never shit myself.
Do you guys just like never eat vegetables?

>>714960212
and the most suffering part of all? The game is permanently associated with an autist shitting himself. That's the legacy of the game. Mention Mafia 3 around people and they think 'nnnotyet'

>>714960487
i never eat veggies and i never shat myself

>>714920886 (OP)
S-surely everyone has accidentally lightly sharted themselves once or twice in their adult lives right?

>>714961492
oh I guess you were never a BABY then, huh???
pwnt

>>714927618
it's two separate sentences retard

>>714922857
If you make a game designed to be played by literal pants shitting retards you deserve to be remembered by it.

>>714962195
Mafia 3 is just a generic Ubisoft style open world game

>>714920886 (OP)
I was playing Quake Champions at my dad's house while wearing a pair of pants I stole from my brother and I farted... but actually I shitted. Liquid fucking shit, like I was pissing out of my ass, it seeped right through my brother's pants and into my dad's chair. They were not happy with me and neither was I. The guys on the Quake match were understanding though, "we've all been there" they said

>>714962867
>I was playing Quake Champions
faggot

>>714960487
You never had diarrhea?

>>714963078
Diarrhea isn't incontinence

>>714962980
It's the only Quake that wasn't dead at the time. It's not exactly the perfect Quake game but it was still Quake enough to be more fun than 99% of other multiplayer shooters

>>714963209
When it's bad enough it can get really hard to hold in a shit, or it feels like just a fart when it's actually not

>be like 12
>get a sudden onset of diarrhoea at school
>shit myself in class
>don't say a word, don't get up, just silently panic
>thankfully another kid had violently shat himself a few days ago
>everyone blames him
>sneak out to the toilet in the ensuing chaos
Sorry Louis, although now that I think about it maybe I caught what you'd had.

>>714920886 (OP)
No. Not yet. Hehe.

No, but I used to cum onto paper towers and stash them behind the fridge because it was the only hidden place to put my shame.
Then when it came to moving day years later I came home from school and where the fridge lay was a mountain of tissues being blown around by the wind and scattered around the kitchen.
I'd come home between the movers taking the fridge and my mum moving driving back.
I had to gather months, if not years of old stained tissues and bin them properly.

>>714920886 (OP)
Only when I had insane food poisoning from an Indian restaurant, and even then only had a small streak

>>714963721
Your house must have smelled terrible.

Last time I really sharted was maybe 10 years ago, but what came out was like a clear liquid of pure distilled ass water

>>714962350
how is that in any way contradicting what he said

>>714964387
Had that happen, it's fucking insane looking down afterwards and seeing a practically clean bowl

>>714921294
He was clearly mentally retarded, and not just in me calling him retarded but actually retarded. I feel sorry for his mother having to deal with him

>>714927795
Incredible post

We had a resident shitter who always smeared his initials in giant letters on the toilet wall.

>>714963721
Used to cum and rub my jizz on the fabric on the side of the chair. It was all crusted up and yellow after a while. I think it was like this for years before it got thrown out. I may have cleaned it once or twice

>>714963721
>>714964958
what third world country are you in that you don't have indoor plumbing

>>714927795
Kek same, except it was in my sofa which made me panic even more. I thought it was only a fart... But it was enough to go through my pants and to the sofa despite me jumping up as soon as i realised what was happening

>>714922430
Just wanted to say you have my sympathies. I think most truly good people would look past someone having a humiliating event like that caused by sickness, and you might've dodged a bullet anyway.

I used to drive a van for the courts in my state and one day mid-drive I farted and dumped half a gallon of diarrhea directly into the fabric seats. Called my boss and told him I was gonna be a bit late due to an unforeseen circumstance, drove home and showered, cleaned up the seat the best I could, laid down a garbage bag and then went back to work. Whole car reeked of shit so bad people made faces when I walked into the buildings. I ended up quitting the next day and fast tracked myself into the Army to get away from the shame.

>>714965203
True, if you really love someone it's something you should be able to look past and support each other over. Breaking up because of that happening because of being sick is high school shit

>>714961882
you got me i was born as an adult homunculi

>>714965323
Did you just leave the van in a shitted state?

>>714921554
same
sometime when I was like 8 or 9 I noticed there were still diapers in some cupboard of the bathroom and wondered what shitting myself would feel like so I gave it a try in the bathroom when nobody was home
didn't feel very good
kind of a wonder I never turned into a diaper or scatfag
god I was such a retarded kid

>>714969612
Yes. My boss didn't even attempt to get a hold of me. I haven't been back to my home state in about 3 years and haven't heard a word from anyone at that job.

>>714970247
Lmao, you committed biological warfare and fled the state like it was a war crime tribunal. That van probably got condemned and sent to a scrapyard as a public health hazard. Honestly, respect for the clean break-some stains go too deep.

Did he really commit suicide?

>>714943742
Got a virus and became so scared his pants came down at the computer. Common scenario ofc.

>>714972940
>Try to find that old health class film of the mom walking in on her son jerking it
>All I can find is this now
kek

I accidently shit myself one time as a kid at my grandpa's house during a family gathering and dropped my poop through my pants leg. My grandpa casually scooped it up and threw it away and didn't even question who did it. I miss him

>>714925195
>He texts you saying he shit himself at school, please advise
In what context? Is it a first grader who asked to go to the bathroom but a bitchy teacher said no, or is it a tenth grader who has a puerto rican hooar phase and shits in the shower and then stomps on it?

>>714923118
He touched her shoulder and spaghetti came out

>>714926573
this

>>714970247
>committed biological warfare and fled the state
kek

>>714973417
>Mom I shit on the drain at school and stomped it down, what do I do next?

mafia 3 sucked, I'd rather take a shit

>Be honest, have you ever done it
nahyet

>>714980965
Are you a wizard or do you still have time?

>>714980548
I’d rather take a shit over doing most things. Feelsgoodman

>>714921626
Buy the complete edition for pennies off the keysites

but I heard only bad things about Mafia 3, so maybe take it with a grain of salt

>>714920886 (OP)
I mildly shat my pants playing pokemon heartgold when I was like 11. It wasn't awesome like the mafia 3 kid, I just miscalculated a fart.

>7 years ago
>In car with mom
>suddenly REALLY need to take a shit
>Worst urge ive ever had to shit
>beg her to stop, literally anywhere
>First store shes able to find is some brick and mortar Lego store, really nice nerdy looking dude at the counter
>Beg him to use the bathroom
>Bathroom is employee only but he sees the panic in my eyes, lets me use it
>Unleash the worst smelling loudest diarrhea shit ive ever shat
>It was like ass literally exploded
>Clean up, say thank you and leave
>He looked shaken
>Mom and I drove by 2 weeks later
>Store is closed
>TFW i blew up a toilet so badly i gave a lego nigga PTSD and put him out of business
My mom would cry laughing every time we went by that area again

I used to pee in bottles back when I was doing the WoW r14 grind but never shat myself

>>714920886 (OP)
i will never forget the night where i shat my underwear on the way back home from the drunk tank. it was freezing. i had no shoes or shirt either, dumped my britches in some bush and walked back home with just pants on.

Not intentionally but I was playing cave story on my Wii in 2010 and I felt a fart coming so I released it.
Turned out to be a shart and a big one at that. Good thing my underwear was tight because it somehow hold everything together so it didn't stain my pants at all.

>>714988497
I dont think a shart counts he had full on poop going

My worst was when I got on the school bus senior year and immediately had to take a massive dump. Driver wouldn't let me off to run back home, had to wait 10 minutes to the next stop. Bitch told me to shit in the woods, instead asked ex-friend if I could go to her house (nope), and then an underclassman (nerdy, Indian, my savior). He begrudgingly said yes. So now I take poo-in-loo jokes personally because an Indian dude literally saved my ass that day.

>>714988818
Also his powder room was immaculate.

>>714920886 (OP)
im scatfag i eat shit

>>714965323
>>714970247
>>714972505

Best thread on /v/ rn

>>714985109
can you go use the bathrooms at local mosques and synagogues?

>>714921626
Its VERY repetitive even with podcast around or shit you like you will fucking get tired only get Mafia 1 (remake) and 2

>>714920886 (OP)
No. I shit my pants in a Pizza Hut once because the bathrooms were taken up for 20 minutes and people wouldn't get the fuck out, though, and I was too embarrassed to admit it until my mom smelled it when I got home later that night. In my defense, I was 7 and I had an enormous amount of shit saved up when it happened.

>>714989349
nah its shit

>>714925468
That's not how stomach flus work you fucking retard.

I've only shit myself once when I was like 12 with a stomach bug and tried to fart
But otherwise I fart like a fucking fiend every day
Like full on louder than speaking voice ass rips that can go on for 2-5 seconds sometimes
They come in waves though; I'm unfortunately empty now
90% of the time they don't stink, but if they do, then there is 99% chance that a shit is ready to fire off in the next 30 minutes or so

Anyways thanks for reading my blog; I feel blessed and it never fails to make me laugh

>>714928142
Whenever I get blazed I always get paranoid about shitting myself, and always feel like I have, and I have to constantly make sure i didn't. Smoking weed is tough business.

>>714991737
I've held my farts in my whole life, and now I literally cannot fart. Fart come out of my ass only when I'm sitting on a toilet and taking a shit. I don't know if it's a curse or a blessing.

>>714993202
I remember this always happening to me too when I first started smoking then years of abusing the drug made it go away.

>>714920886 (OP)
one time I was playing unreal tournament 2004 and chugging coffee because you basically need stimulants to beat the hardest bots in that game, gambled on a fart and it was a shit

>>714994185
>you basically need stimulants to beat the hardest bots in that game
They're that good? I'll have to actually try the bot mode.

I smoked weed one time in the military right after a regular piss test, then I heard the next day we were getting another one within a week. I panicked and drank a Gatorade filled with a whole box of fruit pectin, then a whole gallon of cranberry juice the same day we had to go to the range. My stomach was absolutely fucking killing me, just immense pressure building up in my guts and trying to escape from my asshole while I laid down and ran around shooting machine guns trying to maintain my composure, all the while horrific liquid acidic shit was leaking out of my ass, and I didn't wear underwear so it was going down my leg. The range toilet was a disease ridden monster of its own but it looked like a sanctuary at the time. I didn't smoke weed in the military again.

strangely enough i haven’t shit myself since i was like eight but ive always had an irrational fear of public toilets and always avoid shitting in them. i’d literally hold my shit all day until i got back home. im amazed ive never shat myself once while coming so close to it so many times. but i’ve probably beaten the fuck out of my organs and cut my life expectancy ten years just because i didn’t wanna shit in public

>>714991737
>>714993440
I don’t know how you guys fart so casually. I feel fucking disgusted with myself every time a fart leaks out

>>714998012
Oh and also we didn't get piss tested again till like a month later so it was for nothing, lol.

it's only happened a few times, but sometimes you gamble with a fart and you lose. Once you hit a certain age, it'll happen to you...

>>714930947
you don't get a choice with oysters. They filter feed and even "clean" tributaries can dump hepatitis A into them. You get that or shigella and you'll be crying, curled up in a ball crying after dry heaving for the 6th time and puking up bile.

I used to dread getting the stomach bug because it meant that I couldn't play vidya, unlike getting the cold or even strep.

>>714920886 (OP)
How do you not just hit the kid here? I genuinely don't understand. One good slap and I guarantee he'll do whatever he's told.

>>714999395
I don't think it's a good idea to strike anyone who's already barely holding in a shit

>>714920886 (OP)
twice good thing my chair is artificial pu leather so its easy to clean

shit stories are more entertaing than mafia 3