I wonder if DXM (or maybe even the SSRIs I had taken for some time) destroyed my ability to suppress emotions effectively. I was able to be cold, detached, and quite frankly run away from every thought and feeling that made me uncomfortable without them surfacing. Maybe I am kind of like Miquella.
> Carved words coalesce. "I abandon here my composure."
Although perhaps if that's the case, maybe I can reabandon my emotions for good in order to ascertain my godhood. Although things keep happening to me that convince me that hey, maybe these emotions are a good thing even though most of them hurt and claw and suffocate. I'll figure things out eventually, I always do.