Hey sig, just felt like talking here.

Yesterday we put my cat down. I'm not going to go into the full details, but we made sure she was comfortable and loved in her final days, and especially there at the end. We should be getting her ashes here in a few days, we plan on putting them in the living room so that she can still watch tv with us.

My emotional state right now is... complicated, I guess. I switch between sadness, somewhat normal, and just disassociating. I don't like disassociating, it makes the recovery period drag on for so much longer but it happens if I let myself slip too much and its so easy because that's just how my brain is hardwired.

I'm also not thrilled because we have to go to a family reunion for my husband's side of the family in a few weeks. I know I talked about how terrible they were to him growing up, but they still pay for a lot of our expenses so we have to deal with them. They improved after we got together and moved into our own place, but its still not great to be in a location full of people that don't like your husband.

I'm trying to see the bright side to life and make an effort to be a person still. My friend has a day trip planned for us that might be good since I'll be out of my house. I got to watch my favorite anime movie (surprisingly not Demon Slayer related lol) quite a bit this weekend with some friends.

If anyone could give some advice too on how to actually force yourself to eat when you're grieving, that'd be great by the way. My appetite is shot whenever I'm like this and I can only ever get two or three bites of something before I just can't go anymore.