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7/9/2025, 11:26:45 PM
>>40331890
>>40331944
>Yeah, friendships rule.
Oh 100%.
>Don't know if I could survive this far without these kinds of relationships.
I know I wouldn't have. I feel blessed honestly.
>I'm not in a mental or financial state to handle that kind of pressure.
>It's not may fault, but believe me it is my responsibility now.
Okay, that is fair. Others make it so and that, that cannot be helped. My point was more about self perception and removing one's oughts from the obligations thrust upon us. But I think I got lost there in hypotheticals a little, I feel we both get the other's point!
>I'm not sure if it's the main reason for my self hatred. It's a factor at least.
Were you often belittled or scolded? Sometimes self hatred can come from feelings of being wrong all of the time, no matter what you do. In that case there is no real reason, unfortunately.. which means the approach to resolve it is removed from logic and closer to trying to raise a wounded animal. Dealing with emotions.
>I understand, I just a lot of guilt since I'm the spoiled black sheep of the family.
According to the family, obviously. Nobody frames themselves to be in the wrong. It does not mean they aren't. I can drop this particular part of the conversation if it feels like it leads nowhere btw! I can understand if, for example, your first instinct was to defend them.
>You seem like a very good person, Anon.
I genuinely try. It is all I can. I used to refuse that label, but over the years I have found a middle ground to accept that I am good enough to do good and enjoy doing it. It took me years to feel enough to accept that. But now I am content on that front. I used to have self loathing issues, you know. In my case it was bullying, my home had its cracks but was far from broken, and my mother supported me emotionally when I was at my loneliest, drilling an awareness of my positive traits into me with compassionate insistence.
>>40331944
>Yeah, friendships rule.
Oh 100%.
>Don't know if I could survive this far without these kinds of relationships.
I know I wouldn't have. I feel blessed honestly.
>I'm not in a mental or financial state to handle that kind of pressure.
>It's not may fault, but believe me it is my responsibility now.
Okay, that is fair. Others make it so and that, that cannot be helped. My point was more about self perception and removing one's oughts from the obligations thrust upon us. But I think I got lost there in hypotheticals a little, I feel we both get the other's point!
>I'm not sure if it's the main reason for my self hatred. It's a factor at least.
Were you often belittled or scolded? Sometimes self hatred can come from feelings of being wrong all of the time, no matter what you do. In that case there is no real reason, unfortunately.. which means the approach to resolve it is removed from logic and closer to trying to raise a wounded animal. Dealing with emotions.
>I understand, I just a lot of guilt since I'm the spoiled black sheep of the family.
According to the family, obviously. Nobody frames themselves to be in the wrong. It does not mean they aren't. I can drop this particular part of the conversation if it feels like it leads nowhere btw! I can understand if, for example, your first instinct was to defend them.
>You seem like a very good person, Anon.
I genuinely try. It is all I can. I used to refuse that label, but over the years I have found a middle ground to accept that I am good enough to do good and enjoy doing it. It took me years to feel enough to accept that. But now I am content on that front. I used to have self loathing issues, you know. In my case it was bullying, my home had its cracks but was far from broken, and my mother supported me emotionally when I was at my loneliest, drilling an awareness of my positive traits into me with compassionate insistence.
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