Overheard that the woman I fancy at work is leaving. I haven't spoken to her in the 8 months I've been at this job and as as result I feel safe in saying she thinks I'm extremely weird or she may even think that I hate her.

It's sad that I won't get to see her anymore and that now there's no possibility of anything ever happening between us. But the reality is that nothing could or would have happened had she stayed on in the job since I am too insane to talk to her. She may well have had a boyfriend this whole time. I know nothing about her.

And now I worry that I won't ever cross paths with another woman like her at my shitty job. Again though, why should that matter since I'm too afraid to speak to anyone at my job? I'm fucking insane. I live in a permanent mental delusion where I think I'm not that weird and good things might happen someday but to outside observers I'm visibly mentally ill, bordering on insane.