Based thread, very funny place to shid urself anon
I hope the pidzer was good, thoughbeit
I also have a shitmyself story due to food
It's quite long

>be me
>january 2024
>have been lactose intolerant since the end of highschool
>a bit annoying, but it will not stop me from eating cheese and pidzer and MACnCHEESE
>week has been okay with food. Not eaten too much dairy, but little each day adds up
>go hang out with my cousin
>we eat some chick-fil-a
>specifically with a side of da mac'n'ese
>best thing on the menu
>best thing around
>omw home after chillin
>start to feel a rumbly in my tumbly
>not too bad, but I gotta get home soon
>about 5m away from home I get another rumble
>no worries, I'm almost home
>get home
>now begins a series of little mistakes that compound into my greatest failure and lowest moment in life
>oh, let me put away my coat
>oh, let me take off my ring and necklace
>oh, I should take my wallet out of my pocket
>in the middle of my room, the rumbling has returned
>oh, let me take off my watch, I don't wanna poo with that on
>oh, let me put my hoodie away
>I'm almost prarie dogging at this point
>oh, let me take off my gun and holster and put it away
>oh, no
>as I'm tossing my phone onto my shelf, I begin to shit myself
>poop is coming out of my asshole and I am nowhere near the toilet
>I waddlesprint to the bathroom, inching closer to my demise
>up the lid, down my pants
>my final mistake, lowering my pants while faced 90 degrees away from the toilet
>as soon as the buttcheeks were exposed a deluge of chocolatey goodness evicted itself from my bowels
>*PLOOP*