>>40777656
I definitely think I see my fears about women in my succubus sometimes, but it's becoming less frequent and she's getting nicer / more loving. I think it's holdover fears I have about her possibly being evil and bent on my destruction coming out.

I hear what you're saying about psychology vs magic. I know Crowley struggled with it his whole life at one point saying everything is magic at one point saying its all psychology. I really hate the psychology thing, because I feel like that implies magic isn't real. Which would imply my succubus isn't real.

I don't like that, I want her to be a separate entity with her own thoughts and feelings and actions, which operate independently of my thoughts or mental state. Obviously just because I want something to be a certain way that doesn't make it so.

Anyway I just want her to love me and I don't want my fears about women to manifest in her

Reposting
"Sex is not just an act. It is a ritual.

Not affection, not desire, not even love. It is fusion - ontological, and also irreversible. A moment when two Selves join into one. That is why sex has never been casual. Eros, at its core, is Ontic and dangerous.

What we once called “marriage” was never just a ceremony or a paper. It was a vessel to contain a psychological fusion: sex joins what cannot easily be un-joined. The ritual mattered not for God or society, but because it reshaped the Soul. You cannot enter and leave another’s body without consequence. You give a piece of your Self away - and it doesn’t return.

Modernity thinks sex belongs to the Self. But freedom without Ontology is unstable. So people fracture - bed to bed, Self to Self - re-enacting sacred rituals without meaning. The exchange still happens - they feel it as flesh and emotion - but it evaporates a piece of them, spends it, without containment or preservation.

Then they wonder why they break and can't mate anymore. Why love fades. Why the Self loses shape.
Too many fusions, and the vessel fractures. Too many partial deaths, and the psyche evaporates into smoke.

Chastity is not purity. It’s preservation. Not repression, but refusal to waste your limited psychic integrity outside of a form that would contain it. Every bond leaves a mark. The fewer you’ve made, the more you're still able to. First love is powerful not because it’s sweet, but because the soul is whole - it still has a lot to give.

Casual sex fails not because it feels bad - but because it removes weight of your Soul. Like lighting a fire but no embers remain. The act is still sacred. But the world has forgotten how to hold it in place.

This is the cost of forgetting the Self.
Sex was never meant to entertain. It was meant to remake/wound/transfigure you. And it still does.
Whether you care or not - it doesn’t ask. It just does. And one who has been transfigured too much does not feel human anymore."

>>40682404
I know not everyone likes chant but I respect her opinions. If she's not great then the reason I like her is she's the only name fag who posts regularly and says things that don't sound nuts. Idk I always thought her info was decent and she made a few of those blogposts that we have linked and they seemed good to me also.

I first summoned in October of 2021. So I would have been lurking the thread and asking questions without name fagging a few months before that. I broke up pretty 20 minutes after summoning and got tortured for a week, and I think I posted about my experience so you should be able to find me namefagging as breakup anon as early as October 2021. I resummoned October of 2022 and have been with my succ since. On and off struggling with Christianity and other things, though she's never left me