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7/11/2025, 11:59:50 AM
>Rorke, 42, still a kissless virgin
>lives alone and spends most days raging online about “brownoids” and meal preppers
>goes to Tesco at 2am to avoid “normies” and buy ingredients for the tasteless slop he will cook tomorrow
>he sees a handsome older gentleman restocking shelves, smiling like he owns the place
>“Hello there! Have you tried my new Chicken Tikka Masala?”
>it’s CHARLIE FUCKING BIGHAM
>Rorke’s sweaty pink hands clench into fists, he’s ready to throw down
>Charlie hands him a ready meal like it’s holy communion
>rage intensifies
>“I don’t eat ready meal slop, mongboy”
>Charlie just laughs good naturedly and says, “It’s handmade in small batches, my friend!”
>it actually smells amazing, the perfume of the spices overwhelms him and he snatches it from Charlie’s hands and sweatily waddles out of the shop
>he eats it alone in the car park and cries
>tfw Charlie Bigham’s tikka is the closest thing he’s had to human love and affection in years but he can never admit it to the lads on /brit/
>lives alone and spends most days raging online about “brownoids” and meal preppers
>goes to Tesco at 2am to avoid “normies” and buy ingredients for the tasteless slop he will cook tomorrow
>he sees a handsome older gentleman restocking shelves, smiling like he owns the place
>“Hello there! Have you tried my new Chicken Tikka Masala?”
>it’s CHARLIE FUCKING BIGHAM
>Rorke’s sweaty pink hands clench into fists, he’s ready to throw down
>Charlie hands him a ready meal like it’s holy communion
>rage intensifies
>“I don’t eat ready meal slop, mongboy”
>Charlie just laughs good naturedly and says, “It’s handmade in small batches, my friend!”
>it actually smells amazing, the perfume of the spices overwhelms him and he snatches it from Charlie’s hands and sweatily waddles out of the shop
>he eats it alone in the car park and cries
>tfw Charlie Bigham’s tikka is the closest thing he’s had to human love and affection in years but he can never admit it to the lads on /brit/
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