>tfw senior SWE at Microsoft
don't even have half that as TC. Didn't come from a rich family so, doing better than my parents though. I decided to try traveling recently to fill the void

I get you. Being too shy and awkward is really difficult. Reading about it, people don't really care that you are being awkward. Though I still can't somehow overcome it.

Drugbots help, for some reason opioids don't give me any euphoria anymore. In 2016 I was occasionally using codeine and it worked just fine. I started using antidepressants and didn't do any opis until 2023 when I discontinued meds. Since then I tried codeine, morphine, heroin and kratom, all multiple times and there is either completely no euphoria or it's very mild and brief. I get effects like pain relief, itching and constipation, even nodded on heroin so technically they work on my brain. In the last two years I also tried all the other classes of drugs except for deliriants and they all work normally.

I've read about that and I have no idea what could be the cause. Some people have problems with enzymes but since I get effects other than euphoria it shouldn't be the case, also codeine used to work well. Is it possibile that meds fucked up my brain in some weirdly specific way? I don't want to go to a shrink with it because they will just tell me to stop using drugs and write it down in my medical history so I wouldn't get benzo prescriptions again and they probably won't know the answer anyway