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7/9/2025, 10:21:45 PM
cartoons for this feeling?
6/26/2025, 11:01:33 PM
>be me
>19, homeless failure
>have experience working with kids, apply to every childcare job i can
>fucking forest service decides to hire me as a contract @ a job corps
>goes well, actually doing something with my life and helping speds, tutor them during their down time on anything education
>2025
>United States government stops hiring, contract expires
>boss lets me volunteer with the expectation that if/when it gets fixed I'll be able to go federal
>need money, get a part-time
>Driving to new work to start
>fucking retarded pos runs a red and I crash
>In the hospital for a week, car totaled
>miss work because a dumbass hit me, now I have nothing
Killing myself :)
>19, homeless failure
>have experience working with kids, apply to every childcare job i can
>fucking forest service decides to hire me as a contract @ a job corps
>goes well, actually doing something with my life and helping speds, tutor them during their down time on anything education
>2025
>United States government stops hiring, contract expires
>boss lets me volunteer with the expectation that if/when it gets fixed I'll be able to go federal
>need money, get a part-time
>Driving to new work to start
>fucking retarded pos runs a red and I crash
>In the hospital for a week, car totaled
>miss work because a dumbass hit me, now I have nothing
Killing myself :)
6/25/2025, 5:48:48 PM
I've been angry since I was a baby. I'm not violent anymore but I'm still just as angry and hateful and miserable. I'm not lonely, I get along better with women than men because of how I was raised but I've had people who like me and I tolerate them, but nothing. I have outlets for my energy, but nothing. No matter how tired I am I still get so mad at anything that moves wrong that it scares me.
I'm happy sometimes but anything sets me off and makes it so hard to think about anything other than hurting whatever caused it and I feel so disgusting afterwards. I cry a lot so it's not some repressed shit and I don't trust a bunch of internet virgins to diagnose me with some kind of trauma. I've done everything from CBT to abilify to EMDR to meditation and prayer. I calm down on my own now but that's not enough.
Last month the back of my head started really hurting whenever I'd get too mad (sharp, burning pain) and it feels very bad. GP says it's stress, I know what a headache is and it's not a headache.
I know about the whole fight/flight/freeze/fawn nonsense and even though most of the time I'm obviously the first one everything would be so much easier if I could just fawn or do literally anything else but be angry. If I could wish for anything it would be to never be angry again because it just feels so bad all the time. And the head pain is really concerning and i want that to go away please
Is it possible to never be angry again and how do I do it?
I'm happy sometimes but anything sets me off and makes it so hard to think about anything other than hurting whatever caused it and I feel so disgusting afterwards. I cry a lot so it's not some repressed shit and I don't trust a bunch of internet virgins to diagnose me with some kind of trauma. I've done everything from CBT to abilify to EMDR to meditation and prayer. I calm down on my own now but that's not enough.
Last month the back of my head started really hurting whenever I'd get too mad (sharp, burning pain) and it feels very bad. GP says it's stress, I know what a headache is and it's not a headache.
I know about the whole fight/flight/freeze/fawn nonsense and even though most of the time I'm obviously the first one everything would be so much easier if I could just fawn or do literally anything else but be angry. If I could wish for anything it would be to never be angry again because it just feels so bad all the time. And the head pain is really concerning and i want that to go away please
Is it possible to never be angry again and how do I do it?
6/21/2025, 10:52:09 PM
Are there any pepe ge?
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