When stoned I become tempted by sin and vice and doubt God

When I’m drunk I become proud and confident. Proud of God. I start shouting about the Devil and Moloch. I become incredibly proud and patriotic of where I come from and that I am on a spiritual quest to guide my tribe to the light and banish forces that try to drag them to low vibrational demonic suffering. I literally scream at the Devil when alone to dare to touch me and that I’ll kill him. I also become very welcoming to my fellow man. Even when I see a lost soul I see him a lost man to be guided along not an enemy to be hated. I’m a semi agnostic when sober.

Why is this? Is alcohol holy?