Every laptop I buy has an issue that I cannot accept with my level of OCD.

I buy a laptop, it has a loud reverberating "coil whiney" fan.
I buy another laptop, it has inconsistent key sounds (really clacky alpha keys, etc.).
I buy another laptop, the touchpad is extremely laggy and unresponsive.
I buy another laptop, the screen has a fucking yellow piss filter even though it's "factory calibrated".
I buy another laptop, the screen response times are terrible (ghosting) despite having a high refresh rate.
I buy another laptop, the LCD hinges become weak and wobbly after a week of use.

I have wasted so much money buying laptops, being disappointed in them, and having to resell them at a loss.
Where is the laptop market so fucking shit?

POV: funky