>Be me
>Grow up lurking this place
>Go deep into the blackpill after a period or retard redpill "self improvement" ages 13-14
>Life changes, I start to grow up
>Finally have that magic glow up I wanted
>Realize I'm not as ugly as I thought and that maybe if I spent that time looking for friends instead of looksmaxxing, life would've been better - but whatever
>Girls now displaying interest in me
>Chud mindset made me hate them so much that I don't even try to get with said girls anymore
>If I know I could be interest I get scared unless I'm on Benzos and do nothing at all
>If I'm not interested in them and they like me I just keep on the situationship for the ego strokes, never even touch them, and then ghost them or try to do some bs stunt to feel some sort of "revenge"

Early internet exposure really has fucked me up. I'm now 18 and socially stunted lol. Can't wait to start a new life in uni and leave my bitch ass microtown where I lived 18 years worth of fuck ups.
I spent so many years thinking I was ugly. It does feel like something else when you get out of that mindset. Once I was talking to a friend, he said he used to show pics of me to his friends (girls) up north. They used to ask if I was single. A few days ago I received a screen of a girl asking who I was from a story a friend of mine posted TWICE. TWICE.

It feels good to be living this side of the teenage chud dream 14yo me had, but FUCK do I still need to work on literally any other aspect regarding relationships.

>American education system kills my childhood love of reading
>eventually lose the ability to enjoy books at all
>years pass
>recently find a biography about a band I like
>author shoves his ham-fisted political opinions into it completely unwarranted
I let my guard down one time and got burned. Back to anime