I have a strong dislike for women after one decided to come back to me after chosing someone over me that was mentally deficient and a drunkard but then when he cheated on her I was good enough.
I am 1,85, he was 1.95 and more muscled. Also I am socially deficient. Still, that hurt. Especially when she wrote me later that she got some form of treatable cancer. Told her as much. Tried to be nice but the resentment boiled over in the end and I told her that I do not particularily like being second choice.
God I hate this edge women have over apparently sub-standard men like me.
I have "autistic traits" according to doctors but am lucky enough to not gotten to deep into this. It is not an excuse, I know women will go for non fucked up people (at least the women I like).
I accept this, but how can I relieve myself of this resentment? It is unfair to my partners to go into relationships like this.