>>33391353
Also you sound like you have depression. Practice meditation twice a day, in the morning and evening. No bullshit sutras or mantras. Use the sound and feeling of your breath to engage in meditation. Start at ten to fifteen minutes and as you get better increase the time to half an hour. Finally you should meditate for an hour twice a day.
I gave up drinking and vidya' and a bunch of other hobbies because of depression and anxiety. Although I didn't go to court my ex took her our kids back to Japan because my mental health started going to shit.