I was never good in school at math, i was never good at physics, i was ahead of the curve with computers
because i was playing video games. Because i was so inapt at math i was always behind the cool kids..
I always wanted to participate in these math events and later on programming events...
Around middleschool i started developing a big god complex... why? Because we learned basic programming
and i was able to create stuff i found cool and most importantly i was BETTER than all my peers..
Then in highschool i got separated from everyone cause of my math grades, but we kept in touch online.
MY God complex got even worse, because i started self teaching and was still much ahead of everyone,
even kids that were going to the olympiads and solving algorithm problems (looking back, all my algo solutions
were more or less "ugly" and bruteforce but i didnt know any better), and i was also learing about linux.
Then... right about end of highschool when everyone got money and opportunities for universities, i didnt get
anything... i got demoralized and had to work construction jobs, being so tired from working 12 hour days
i stopped programming, i stoped studying, i stoped being ahead... All THE FUCKING RETARDS started being above me
Now half a decade later, some of them work in FAANGS, some of them at banks, some of them at good cushy jobs

I lost, i picked it up 2 years ago and been in tutorial hell ever since, being constantly demoralized

Never taking action, Never to take action, Never to become better

I Failed, I wasnt the God i thought i were, I was the stupid one.

I Failed.