Recently at my job i met a girl who just started working with me who is about 8 years younger than me, shes 21, im 28. Shes cute, single, and judging by her behavior around me might have a crush on me but obviously i have no idea since zoomer chicks are very socially awkward. I just know she follows me around and i make her laugh and stumble over her words. This was so obvious someone else i worked with basically said "yeah but imagine being with someone that young" and i laughed and agreed. But then, i thought about it. Am i living any different than i was at 21? Am i any more mature? The argument over "stage of life" is kinda moot when i am basically a 20 year old in a nearly 30 year olds body.

The way i dress screams immature, the job i work isnt an adult job, i live in a shitty little apartment like a college student. My savings and investments arent impressive. I am online all the time. I have had 8 years old this girl and the friends her age but i am in the same place exactly. I consider this pathetic. In fact, so pathetic and embarrassing i want it fixed before i even think about dating. I want to be a totally different person entirely. But i am not even sure where to begin. I just feel developmentally delayed. I feel immature most of the time.

Would the best thing to focus on be discipline? Fashion? I mean i am writing out all i want to change and its a very long list. I just dont want to keep living like a loser.