Jun 26 2002
The more I think about it, I feel that freedom isn't necessary to me. There is not even one atom of me thinking "I want to be free". Aah, I'm a small bird in a cage, I don't need the sky. If there is just some water and feed in various colors, that's enough. I'm not wishing for anything else. It's better to not wish if the wish won't come true. But what can I have wished for until now? No, not even my own existance was wished for. "You know, you just came to be by accident!" - a child born not wished for... "What, is Kumeta here?" - showing up at a class reunion, not wished for... "Are you still doing THIS?" - drawing a manga not wished for... Yes, I am a garbage bug, alive, but not wished to be alive by anyone. What becomes of a garbage bug if it acts like it's free? Maybe the garbage bug is free, maybe the garbage bug is tied down, but it doesn't matter either way to anyone in the world. Aah, so if I am a garbage bug, neither noticed by anyone, nor having any effect on anything in the world, freedom isn't necessary.
Garbage bug, garbage bug, where are you going?
You have neither any ambition to live,
nor courage to die.
Garbage bug, garbage bug, where are you going?