My Apu is going fucking mental begging for a 'brekkie sarnie'.
Not sure whether to make him a 3 rasher bacon sarnie, a two luxury cut-in-half-sausage sarnie or a two a egg and grated cheddar cheese sarnie.
Don't know whether to spread mustard, butter, mayonnaise, ketchup, sriracha or salad cream.
He won't go to sleep without a posh supper. He's fond of a cob but also likes half and half bread. In tears, I don't want to get it wrong like the last time.