It always comes back to the Lineal eventually

My biggest problem socializing is not having problems understanding people, it's that I don't like being mean. I don't care about status games but it underpins almost every single social interaction there is. Having to defend your place in a hierarchy so that people treat you with respect makes being mean seem like almost a necessity. Lots of people see not partaking in it as either a sign of weakness or arrogance as well, which makes the problem worse.