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7/25/2025, 2:30:51 PM
>>81954883
Autism is the thing that ruined my life more than anything else, this diagnosis has been like a dark cloud over my head since I was in high school because the "spectrum" bullshit meant I got to be lumped in with a bunch of fucking freaks. There is nothing else that makes me want to die as much because autism is the "get fucked lmao" mental illness because there's no cure or treatment at all, it's something that you're forced to live with until you fucking die while normies feed you half-hearted PC narratives about it's actually not a disease and it's actually just a special thing that makes you different (which is why we're never going to ever cure it!). I will never get to experience what life would be like without the filter of this mental disorder over everything, it makes every single thing louder and brighter with no way of turning the settings down. I will never be able to intrinsically understand social cues and the way that normies look at each other the same way they can. I will never be able to force myself to care about things that are actually important and not this "special interest" bullshit. I have been drained of everything that once made me feel enriched in any capacity and now every single thing is just draining because I get to still have the intense sensory demands and hyper-focus/ability to retain every memory but with none of the serotonin that is supposed to come with it. I have been lonely all my life and it's only my fault because I decided as a retarded little boy that I'd rather be off chasing the the dopamine hits of my "special interests" rather than learning how to make friends and all it did was set me back by putting up walls around myself that I can't breach because it feels like tearing my skin off. I have learned to live with the loneliness, it's something that only bothers me every now and then like a hunger pang. I still fucking hate this disease and no method of killing it would be too extreme.
Autism is the thing that ruined my life more than anything else, this diagnosis has been like a dark cloud over my head since I was in high school because the "spectrum" bullshit meant I got to be lumped in with a bunch of fucking freaks. There is nothing else that makes me want to die as much because autism is the "get fucked lmao" mental illness because there's no cure or treatment at all, it's something that you're forced to live with until you fucking die while normies feed you half-hearted PC narratives about it's actually not a disease and it's actually just a special thing that makes you different (which is why we're never going to ever cure it!). I will never get to experience what life would be like without the filter of this mental disorder over everything, it makes every single thing louder and brighter with no way of turning the settings down. I will never be able to intrinsically understand social cues and the way that normies look at each other the same way they can. I will never be able to force myself to care about things that are actually important and not this "special interest" bullshit. I have been drained of everything that once made me feel enriched in any capacity and now every single thing is just draining because I get to still have the intense sensory demands and hyper-focus/ability to retain every memory but with none of the serotonin that is supposed to come with it. I have been lonely all my life and it's only my fault because I decided as a retarded little boy that I'd rather be off chasing the the dopamine hits of my "special interests" rather than learning how to make friends and all it did was set me back by putting up walls around myself that I can't breach because it feels like tearing my skin off. I have learned to live with the loneliness, it's something that only bothers me every now and then like a hunger pang. I still fucking hate this disease and no method of killing it would be too extreme.
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