Thanks for replying anon. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had trouble talking to your parents too. It really sucks when you cant have a good healthy relation to someone you’re related to…
>deeply converging political differences/worldviews
I think in my moms case most of it stems from unresolved trauma and stress, but I can relate when it comes to my dad and my brother. Normally her and I talk just fine about politics even if we’re quite different, but the other two yell insults and threaten me lol
>take a somewhat detached, neutral stance on the things your parents say.
that’s more or less what I have been doing with my brother and dad, but with my mom thats… actually a massive no-go because it makes her angry with me.
With her I have to let her talk with no interruptions for as long as she wants, no matter what Im doing or how Im feeling, and then offer more subjective replies, reactions and suggestions as she goes along, otherwise she’ll accuse me of not caring and then direct her irritation with my father and brother towards me.
I’m pretty good at it by now, but it sucks.
She’ll spontaneously call (or walk into my room when Im back home) and talk for an hour about topics that I can best describe as being ptsd like in nature. Some of them involve me, which isnt very pleasant. Today in the car she was talking about things like the time a family member knocked me unconscious and how it affected her. It’s like that.
>cannot depend on them for emotional support at this point.
Yes, I think you’re right… I think my mistake was thinking that since I know she had been dealing with her mother’s psychotic breakdowns in childhood, and since Ive been acting as her therapist or main source of sympathy in the home for most of my life, I thought maybe she’d be able to offer some useful advice so I wouldnt have to hurt him by staying my distance.
But I guess it wasnt the time, and maybe it never will be.