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7/5/2025, 9:51:47 PM
>>212459291
Maths and Chemistry.
It's hard to put into words. Me saying "because I made no friends" doesn't do it full justice. More appropriately, it was like I constantly felt I was suffering under the weight of not making the most of university. There's the academic side and then there's the social side: the growing as a person, the making friends, the going on nights out, having romantic / sexual experiences, finding people to rent a flat with after first year, living away from home, engaging with and balancing adult responsibilities and perhaps part-time work alongside study.
Growing as a person essentially. Except I wasn't doing that at all when I was at university. With each passing day, week and year I felt more and more that I was going to end up with a degree but with no personal growth whatsoever; like I'd have been to university in name only. And ultimately I convinced myself that that wasn't worth it and so I was better off dropping out.
In retrospect I should have just suffered on and got the degree, certainly having a degree would have helped me in my 20s + now. But at the time it really felt impossible like I just could not cope with the fact that everyone else appeared to be living the University Life™ while I was alone with my thoughts, commuting to and from university on the train everyday for what I thought was... nothing.
Maths and Chemistry.
It's hard to put into words. Me saying "because I made no friends" doesn't do it full justice. More appropriately, it was like I constantly felt I was suffering under the weight of not making the most of university. There's the academic side and then there's the social side: the growing as a person, the making friends, the going on nights out, having romantic / sexual experiences, finding people to rent a flat with after first year, living away from home, engaging with and balancing adult responsibilities and perhaps part-time work alongside study.
Growing as a person essentially. Except I wasn't doing that at all when I was at university. With each passing day, week and year I felt more and more that I was going to end up with a degree but with no personal growth whatsoever; like I'd have been to university in name only. And ultimately I convinced myself that that wasn't worth it and so I was better off dropping out.
In retrospect I should have just suffered on and got the degree, certainly having a degree would have helped me in my 20s + now. But at the time it really felt impossible like I just could not cope with the fact that everyone else appeared to be living the University Life™ while I was alone with my thoughts, commuting to and from university on the train everyday for what I thought was... nothing.
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