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6/21/2025, 10:44:23 PM
>>40117054
>Are you sure?
Absolutely. This is something that with my first and secondhand experience I can sign off with ironclad certainty.
>Why does it feel like it is, somehow?
>Why does it feel like I'm supposed to be getting punished?
...this is going to be a bit of a rough one. I don't know how this will affect you but I have never seen this received well. Please, make yourself comfortable, take a breath. I'm not joking, please.. take 5. Breathe. Have some water. Ok? Ok. I'll be frank. What you are experiencing is a common sign of abuse, or at the very least trauma. Almost nobody will ever accept these labels initially. Chances are your mind is looking for a way out to tear these labels off as we speak. It's okay. You don't have to agree. You don't have explain how what you have been through shouldn't count as either. I will just give you my general (layperson) understanding of the psychology of it.
Self blame is one of several reactions that are with us on a neurological level. Things like learned helplessness are so simple to induce we can trigger them in animals via simple, controlled lab experiments. When exposed to random punishments the vertebrate concludes, eventually, that the only commonality between the instances of suffering is themselves. When exposed to random impulses our brains still look for patterns. But garbage in, garbage out, and we end up internalizing rules and conclude things that have no actual grounding in reality. And since we all share the same base hardware, the conclusions we draw from noise are very similar between individuals.
>How do I stop all the spills?
Among other things you need emotional grounding and stress relief. Urgently. That can take on many forms, some can be bought with money, some are simple rituals that shouldn't rationally make a difference but do because, internally, we all run on small critter hardware. The limbic system does not care for arguments, it cares for comfort. Wanna discuss specifics?
>Are you sure?
Absolutely. This is something that with my first and secondhand experience I can sign off with ironclad certainty.
>Why does it feel like it is, somehow?
>Why does it feel like I'm supposed to be getting punished?
...this is going to be a bit of a rough one. I don't know how this will affect you but I have never seen this received well. Please, make yourself comfortable, take a breath. I'm not joking, please.. take 5. Breathe. Have some water. Ok? Ok. I'll be frank. What you are experiencing is a common sign of abuse, or at the very least trauma. Almost nobody will ever accept these labels initially. Chances are your mind is looking for a way out to tear these labels off as we speak. It's okay. You don't have to agree. You don't have explain how what you have been through shouldn't count as either. I will just give you my general (layperson) understanding of the psychology of it.
Self blame is one of several reactions that are with us on a neurological level. Things like learned helplessness are so simple to induce we can trigger them in animals via simple, controlled lab experiments. When exposed to random punishments the vertebrate concludes, eventually, that the only commonality between the instances of suffering is themselves. When exposed to random impulses our brains still look for patterns. But garbage in, garbage out, and we end up internalizing rules and conclude things that have no actual grounding in reality. And since we all share the same base hardware, the conclusions we draw from noise are very similar between individuals.
>How do I stop all the spills?
Among other things you need emotional grounding and stress relief. Urgently. That can take on many forms, some can be bought with money, some are simple rituals that shouldn't rationally make a difference but do because, internally, we all run on small critter hardware. The limbic system does not care for arguments, it cares for comfort. Wanna discuss specifics?
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