>>40171972
>ive never really had many male friends, or a real boyfriend until recently. i am so paranoid about him being secretly cruel and evil i never feel comfortable around him
Hypervigilance is a thing. I don't lay it on my male friends because they don't deserve it but I was misandrist for a bit because I didn't like my dad. My mother was too. She resented me for being amab. Just don't guilt trip yourself for having anxiety, if you want more closeness there are generally little steps you can take that won't freak you out as much over time. Being intimacy averse is rough.