>>81592761
>one day, i think, god will apologize to me for what hes done. until then i will worship him.

What he's done? You did this all to yourself, and in the moment of your death, these memories will be replayed to you in the highest definition imaginable. You will be unable to escape from the reality that you made these choices in your life. The "moment" will last for several days time and if you find yourself unable to accept and integrate the choices you made and continue to delude yourself, your soul will be sent on it's way and stuffed into another body repeating the same mistakes you've failed to learn from for another life time.

The material world is a school. You're only punishing yourself.