Anon, I am in an extremely similar situation (even down to the working in defense part).

My girlfriend and I come from very obviously different classes, and also has a controlling and critical mother.
She is educated, however, and does have her own job making slightly above the average salary.

She is a very negative and pessimistic person who frequently gives up on things and dislikes learning new things, and she drains my energy with that negativity. Her emotional intelligence and communication skills are close to zero.
But, she is kind toward me, does help a lot with common tasks that keep the house running (cooking, grocery shopping, dishes, etc.), and is extremely loyal.

I, too, can't help but feel that there is more. According to my own hierarchy of needs, I would much rather help cook and take on other tasks if it meant that I got someone who is emotionally intelligent, feminine, creative, and importantly, has a positive outlook on life and likes learning new things.
She loves cars and Instagram. That's about it.

This is the exact quote that made me reply, for how crazily similar it resonated with my own situation:
>I try to kinda force interesting conversation like today I brought up about how I am worried my job (I work in defense) might be impacted by the Iran situation and I expected at least a "how so?" Or a "what's going on in Iran?" Or something but expectedly I got "oh sorry to hear that. I just got to work, love you!" And I even further prodded and said something like "yeah it's a crazy situation rn" hoping again to spark some interesting Convo and hear her opinions or at the least see some curiosity, but nope her reply was "hmm well I hope everything is okay for you, I miss you!" And then derailed into something about what she had for lunch, so I gave up.

Just want to let you know there are others in the same boat, also thinking about moving on, but very hesitant to give up something stable, as well as the only relationship I've ever had.