>>533866414
Well, I am very sorry to hear that first and foremost but I feel like you're misunderstanding me here. I am not trying to give you life advice here, I am trying to give you perspective. I understand that for you, yeah not a lot sounds really great.
However, I want you to know that your choices are your own. I would encourage you to consider living the best life you can as the sole survivor from how it sounds. I don't know your family life growing up, but I would like to believe your parents and grandparents etc wanted the best for you and for you to be happy. You don't necessarily owe it to them, but I would encourage you making the most of it.
Smile for yourself in a year when you think on making these posts and your life is a bit happier and that you've come a way already.