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8/11/2025, 9:54:57 AM
>Cheesy 80s guitar mixed with choir and church organ intro plays
>Small skirmish between the Imperial Guard and Chaos
>Cain flailing his chainsword around while Jurgen gives cover fire
>They win the skirmish
>Messenger approaches
>"Commissar Cain, you are summoned to Lord General Zyvan's tent"
>"Bloody ell Fenrik, what's 'e want now"
>Cain arrives in old Nosey's tent
>His Inquisitor of the day is there
>As is a weasel looking Imperial Guard officer, Inquistor or Planetary Lord
>"Cain, this is Lord Fucksworth, who has a dangerous mission for you - you will be enormously outnumbered, deep behind enemy lines with no support, oh and CHAOS is around so watch out for it
>Lord Fuckworth insults him for being a commissar but reluctantly accepts that Cain is a hero of the imperium
>"As ye like sir, Ah'll get it dun"
>Cut to Cain and Jurgen discussing the mission
>"It dun maek bloody sense Fenrik, why do they need us to tek this planet/find this space hulk/get this STC/uncover this plot"
>"Oh surely as the fields o' Valhalla are cold, sir, The Emperor has a plan for us, sir"
>A few battles happen on the way to the objective
>Oh look it's an attractive young inquistor who keeps looking at Cain suggestively
>They fuck
>"Look Fenrik! It's the thing we're here for!"
>"LOOK OUT SIR"
>Lord Fucksworth appears and betrays Cain
>CHAOS appears
>"HON HON HON! Bamboozled you again my nemesis"
>"Bloody CHAOS"
>Battle happens
>Jurgen goes "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH BANG" with the melta gun
>Zyvan arrives
>"Well done Cain! You've done it again"
>Cain and his men march into the sunset
>THERE'S FORTY SHILLINGS ON THE DRUM...FOR THOSE WHO VOLUNTEER TO COME..
Why the fuck won't they make a Cain series? I don't care about gay ass spice muhreens
>Small skirmish between the Imperial Guard and Chaos
>Cain flailing his chainsword around while Jurgen gives cover fire
>They win the skirmish
>Messenger approaches
>"Commissar Cain, you are summoned to Lord General Zyvan's tent"
>"Bloody ell Fenrik, what's 'e want now"
>Cain arrives in old Nosey's tent
>His Inquisitor of the day is there
>As is a weasel looking Imperial Guard officer, Inquistor or Planetary Lord
>"Cain, this is Lord Fucksworth, who has a dangerous mission for you - you will be enormously outnumbered, deep behind enemy lines with no support, oh and CHAOS is around so watch out for it
>Lord Fuckworth insults him for being a commissar but reluctantly accepts that Cain is a hero of the imperium
>"As ye like sir, Ah'll get it dun"
>Cut to Cain and Jurgen discussing the mission
>"It dun maek bloody sense Fenrik, why do they need us to tek this planet/find this space hulk/get this STC/uncover this plot"
>"Oh surely as the fields o' Valhalla are cold, sir, The Emperor has a plan for us, sir"
>A few battles happen on the way to the objective
>Oh look it's an attractive young inquistor who keeps looking at Cain suggestively
>They fuck
>"Look Fenrik! It's the thing we're here for!"
>"LOOK OUT SIR"
>Lord Fucksworth appears and betrays Cain
>CHAOS appears
>"HON HON HON! Bamboozled you again my nemesis"
>"Bloody CHAOS"
>Battle happens
>Jurgen goes "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH BANG" with the melta gun
>Zyvan arrives
>"Well done Cain! You've done it again"
>Cain and his men march into the sunset
>THERE'S FORTY SHILLINGS ON THE DRUM...FOR THOSE WHO VOLUNTEER TO COME..
Why the fuck won't they make a Cain series? I don't care about gay ass spice muhreens
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