>Cheesy 80s guitar mixed with choir and church organ intro plays
>Small skirmish between the Imperial Guard and Chaos
>Cain flailing his chainsword around while Jurgen gives cover fire
>They win the skirmish
>Messenger approaches
>"Commissar Cain, you are summoned to Lord General Zyvan's tent"
>"Bloody ell Fenrik, what's 'e want now"
>Cain arrives in old Nosey's tent
>His Inquisitor of the day is there
>As is a weasel looking Imperial Guard officer, Inquistor or Planetary Lord
>"Cain, this is Lord Fucksworth, who has a dangerous mission for you - you will be enormously outnumbered, deep behind enemy lines with no support, oh and CHAOS is around so watch out for it
>Lord Fuckworth insults him for being a commissar but reluctantly accepts that Cain is a hero of the imperium
>"As ye like sir, Ah'll get it dun"
>Cut to Cain and Jurgen discussing the mission
>"It dun maek bloody sense Fenrik, why do they need us to tek this planet/find this space hulk/get this STC/uncover this plot"
>"Oh surely as the fields o' Valhalla are cold, sir, The Emperor has a plan for us, sir"
>A few battles happen on the way to the objective
>Oh look it's an attractive young inquistor who keeps looking at Cain suggestively
>They fuck
>"Look Fenrik! It's the thing we're here for!"
>"LOOK OUT SIR"
>Lord Fucksworth appears and betrays Cain
>CHAOS appears
>"HON HON HON! Bamboozled you again my nemesis"
>"Bloody CHAOS"
>Battle happens
>Jurgen goes "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH BANG" with the melta gun
>Zyvan arrives
>"Well done Cain! You've done it again"
>Cain and his men march into the sunset
>THERE'S FORTY SHILLINGS ON THE DRUM...FOR THOSE WHO VOLUNTEER TO COME..

Why the fuck won't they make a Cain series? I don't care about gay ass spice muhreens

The series that exists in your mind is so much better than what they'd shit out.

>>213578360 (OP)
>female guardsman
God, that's stupid.

What would a W40K Simmerson look like?

>>213578437
Why? Their purpose is to be a meatwave, so might as well be female meatwave.

>>213578404
Holy shit, John Blanche actually made a painting using something other than red, black, yellow and orange?

>>213578437
>only le men can absorb bullets while waiting for space muhreens
Dumbass

>>213578441
Upon first sighting the enemy, I naturally used grapnel launcher to advance. That's my style sir.
I dropped down over a ledge and engaged the enemy. Brother Straban panicked, so then I fell back in good order and used ranged attacks.
>This is a report from Lieutenant Titus which differs somewhat from your account, Brother Decimus.
>Titus reports a number of losses, Brother Decimus. He says you first lost your head, and instead of using your grapnel to execute a Biovore you used it on a minoris.
>He says you then lost your nerve and ran from a small enemy wave.
>He says you've lost 30 primary rounds, a hundred secondary rounds and two medstims.
>He says you've finally lost your sense of honor and downed Brother Valius with your melta.
>Titus leaves the worst to the last. He says you've lost a geneseed.
The fault was not mine sir. Brother Valius must answer
>BROTHER VALIUS ANSWERED WITH A MORTAL WOUND! AS YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IF YOU HAD ANY SENSE OF HONOR. YOU LOST THE GENESEED OF THE PRIMARCH OF THE CHAPTER. YOU DISGRACED US SIR. YOU SHAMED US SIR

>>213578437
She's a higher rank than the grunts, show some respect for your superior

>>213578360 (OP)
Unfortunately, it's because GW views the Guard as less marketable than Spess Marines. We're lucky we have the Guard as a playable faction at all.

>>213578360 (OP)
Wrong series or wrong book.
Gaunt is Sharpe
Cain is Blackadder goes Forth

Helsreach Tower Defence game where you can join individual battles.

>>213578503
Space Marines are a blessing and a curse for 40k. If they make a show about anything other than marines, everybody will be waiting for "when are the marines dropping in?". It'll be a 2min clip at the end of the season where they arrive, tear shit up and leave. Or only get teased.
And if they make show where the marines are the main focus, then people will whine and moan about "it's always about the marines"

>>213578360 (OP)
>Lord General Zyvan's tent
>tent
wat

>>213578564
Personally, I'd have a show that had three protagonists - one Space Marine, a Sister of Battle, and a Guardsman - and while at first it seems like they're three separate characters on different sides of the galaxy slowly the plot paints a larger picture through their perspectives. Something something Black Crusade, or Nid invasion, or whatever.
Something like Andor.

>>213578564
That's why it should be Inquisition + SM sidekicks, make it a crime/mystery detective with villain of the week sprinkled in.

>>213578625
Inquisition are retards.

>>213578602
That could be a cool idea, or maybe have a Space Marine, a Guardsman and an Eldar or something. You'd get a wider perspective of the world.

I still think the best introduction Cavill and his team could make to 40k for anybody who doesn't know about it, would be to make a 1:1 live action remake of Astartes.
It's the best intro to Warhammer I've ever seen and it "works" on people who don't know shit about it.

>>213578643
Who isn't?

>>213578656
>Amazon
>Cavill
It's going to be another Witcher (+Halo)

>>213578656
>would be to make a 1:1 live action remake of Astartes.
>Holy fuck these space marines are indestructible, how the hell are the imperium losing

>next whatever in the universe has marines as the jobbers

>>213578625
A monster of the week type thing could work, BUT I still think using something like Inquisitors and their work is still too deep.
The first big introduction has to be the more vanilla aspects of the world. The core of it really.
You can tell countless stories about the world, but you need to make a huge first impression or it'll die.

>>213578687
I'm extremely skeptical, but I do have some faith in Cavill being an actual "true believer" and it not just being marketing shit for "he's just like me"
He seems to be too deep in for it to just be marketing shit. But I'm still skeptical. I got my first White Dwarf in 94 and have been dreaming about something like this since then.

>>213578691
The Marines get fucked up at the end though

>>213578695
>vanilla aspects of the world. The core of it really
Core and vanilla huh. That would be uhh, Black Templars against... Orks? With a baseline humans involved in a big introduction would be hmm - Steel Legion on Armageddon! I know what movie you need my nigga:
https://youtu.be/s2WGE1L6WKs?si=bG8IRXZ1dQi22Vfd

>You there, what makes a good Guardsman?
>The ability to not stand in view of the Commissar in any weather, sir

>>213578799
Battle for Armageddon during 3rd edition was peak 40k if you ask me. It would be fucking amazing.
But whatever they end up doing, 40k would be to make an intro like the start of The Fellowship of the Ring. That was the perfect intro to a big world. 40k would need something made just as well as that before anything else. That and the live action Astartes remake.

>>213578360 (OP)
10/10

Is it true that Girlyman is about to skullfuck the Inquisition?

>>213578360 (OP)
Because making a character like Cain likable rather than insufferable requires a degree of writing skill that is beyond what netflix/hollywood/amazon writers are capable of.

>>213579167
Is it true that Girlyman has shown Yvraine who the boss of this gym is?

>>213579258
No, Deathwatch did that.

do grey knights sex or no

>>213578360 (OP)
>Why the fuck won't they make a Cain series?
No marines to advertise

>>213578360 (OP)
Take all that green text and feed it into an AI 5 years from now autist bro, ill watch

>>213578360 (OP)
Worst WH40K OP I've read in a long time.

>>213578437
based

>>213578564
>It'll be a 2min clip at the end of the season where they arrive, tear shit up and leave. Or only get teased.
That's the way it should be

>>213578656
>remake Astartes
>with Amazon censors
>and GW oversight

If you want to see rotund black women and homosexuals included in your 40k, you could just say so.

>>213578728
He was a true believer in Witcher and that didn't stop him from getting longhoused. In the end, all he could do was walk away.

>>213581464
Difference is on the witcher he was just an actor, Cavill owns the tv rights for Warhammer 40k so he has actual power this time

>>213579572
No, but man i loved the 3rd book in the grey knights series, Gladiator on a khorne throne world

>>213581652
>Cavill owns the tv rights for Warhammer 40k so he has actual power this time
Not this shit again

>>213578360 (OP)
They should make a series about literally me (Perturabo) during the Horus Heresy; Ryan Gosling wouldn't be a good casting though

>>213581652
>Cavill owns the tv rights for Warhammer 40k
Jesus Christ. What a retard

Why haven't we done any casting itt? Who's gonna play who?

>>213578437
Rape doesn't exist in the warhammer universe so its ok

>>213581876
Rape does exist in 40K, but it's written to be exclusive to the Dark Eldar

A band of brothers/pacific style gaunts ghosts series would be kino.
Keanu as Cain with Benicio del toro as jurgen could be great

>>213581865
Whoever plays Cain has to have the smuggest, perpetually shit eating grin voice possible.

>>213582025
Owen Wilson Cain
Vince Vaughn jurgen

If I had to pick one Warhammer book to translate into a movie it would be Gloomspite. It has everything
>Thing like Body Horror
>28 Days later style Zombies
>Mass scale epic carnage
>Tonnes of extremely brutal comedy horror
>Cosmic Horror
>Night Goblins are basically methed out psycho murder children with knives, which makes them very funny while terrifying.
Book also has a phenomenal murder mystery/political thriller lead up to the point where shit just goes completely fucking batshit. Another point that is phenomenal about the book is how well it describes and visualizes all the horror and feeling of the moment, you can feel the mushrooms ripping out of peoples eyes and skin and mouths, you can visualize the Bad Moon rising over the city, the amazingly written violence.
Honestly, for me, best BL book out there, at least in terms of Horror, and it's the one that absolutely should get a film adaption. Only negative downside is that it's fucking Age of Sigmar, but that really doesn't have any bearing on anything I guess, it's city guard/mercs vs Night Goblins.

>>213582065
This is a 40k thread you fucking retard

>>213581926
Cool story, bro.

>>213582060
seth rogan emperor
Actually what I had in mind for a Cain was Alan Rickman as Snape but not a loser. I know it's an unorthodox choice but I can just imagine certain scenes(like the mess hall brawl at the start of the first book) and how Rickman could carry himself and voice it.
RIP.

>>213582114
How about Vince Vaughn Cain and benicio jurgen
I like that much more. Benicio can just do his sicario 1 schtick, and Vince can do old school

>>213582060
Jon Wilkinson should play Jurgen

>>213582114
>anyone as emperor
He is a rotting corpse on a shiny chair. You don't need an actor for him, you need a prop designer.

>>213581926
and orcs

>>213578534
So close. Cain is Flashman, zoomzoom.

>>213582203
*Joe Wilkinson

>>213578360 (OP)
You're obviously describing Gaunt, not Cain. Cain makes the most sense as a Blackadder character but with more action.

>>213581876
It will when I am done with it

>>213578360 (OP)
Dan Abnett has flatout stated Gaunt and his Ghosts are directly and heavily inspired by Sharpe and the rifles, you fucked up OP you fucked up bad

>>213578360 (OP)
Sounds fucking gay.

I can't decide what modern hottie could play Amberly

>>213582065
Have you got any other Warhammer book recs? I've only read 40k and I'm interested in learning more. Are any of these audio books too?
Gloomspite looks neat

>>213582550
People say this but then I never hear anything about Cain trying to rape his father's mistress or throwing a woman he just fucked off the back of a sled to her death or being extremely racist to blacks and Indians

>>213583655
Rosamund Pike

>>213583878
gone girl ruined her for me. also too old. at least for the parts of the story where they are younger.

>>213582114
Cain isn't a nerd, he's a chad. He's just a chad written to be socially acceptable in the current day irony-poisoned social milieu. Outside of the first story, where he does flee like a total coward and accidentally end up the hero, basically every other story he's a full-on, unironic hero all of the time.

Actually, the worst aspect of the books increasingly becomes the long and often utterly absurd rationalizations he feels forced to provide for why his obviously selfless and heroic actions are actually him being selfish and cowardly.

>>213578360 (OP)
Kino.
>>213578437
Trve.

So the "40k kino" everyone is hyped up for is just a shitty ripoff of something that already exists except with more product placement so GW can make money off of it instead of the original creators.

>>213584459
Yes

>>213584459
lol homage anon, and if you are just figuring this out now then idk what to tell you, it was intentionally created as a balls to the walls over the top mishmash of existing stories

>>213584560
>balls to the walls over the top mishmash of existing stories
More like mid ripoff of existing stories.

>>213578503
>GW views the Guard as less marketable than Spess Marines.
They do that because hey simply are. There is no shortage of attempts to make them cooler but then people see big blueberries and go "DOOD"

>>213581652
Amazon has some of the streaming right. Cavill works for a production company that has been hired by Amazon to make something for streaming. How much actual control Cavill has is genuinely impossible since there could be bazillion clauses on creative control from GW and Cavill's title of 'executive producer' is one famed for being nebulous in what it actually means since it varies between different studios, projects, film and TV

>>213584596
thats just like your opinion

>>213578360 (OP)
needs a bit more self-deprecation from Cain, references to chainswordplay, Jurgen blank reference and a part where Cain tries to stay out of danger only to walk straight into it and accidentally doing something heroic. Then it would be every Cain novel ever written

>>213584878
True, and it's correct. Warhammer is just "content", there's no soul or passion behind it, just a drive to make cash. How do you even look at characters like "Malus Darkblade" and not see "mid ass Elric ripoff" Dan Abnett is like the shitty Chinese copy of Pat Mills and it's no surprise that the only halfway decent Warhammer comic was by Mills and not any of GW's slop farmers.

^Truth nuke

>>213584459
always has been

>>213581876

Incorrect, sir. Rape is mentioned in several stories.

>>213585082
Dan fully admitted he wanted to make Sharpes Rifles but in 40k, the word you are looking for is schlock or maybe pulp, that isn't a bad thing as tarantino said
>because its so much fun Jan
not everything has to be some high brow "art" something things can be fun just for the sake of being fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St8iEpkcDJc

>>213585280
>It's ok, I fully admitted to robbing your house

>>213585183
I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it again the correct way to do a 40k tv series is starting with a new guardsman first day in service, he has a normal life maybe some girl he's planing to marry, slow general introduction his first assignment is odd they encounter something strange he goes home is with his girl, camera pans up and its the eye of terror forming. The first 3 eps are the fall of cadia, he escapes and ep 3 ends with him looking at cadia breaking while you can see flashes of light as the guardsmen still fight. Thats how you start the show, rest of it follows this noobs adventures, he goes to holy terra ep 4 is part of some parade or w/e, rest of the season is him joining a new squad getting into the shit, season one ends with a massive 2 episode battle where of course his entire squad is killed he is on the point of death has nearly lost all faith he pulls himself up and starts reciting
>Oh God Emperor, overseer that makes all things right. etc etc
and the space marines show up.

>>213578360 (OP)
I would make sulla a proud mother, knowing she get all our kids killed in some meaningless meat grinder and then force me to sire more children as new recruits. I would even wear a Ciaphas Cain mask while we did it, knowing it makes her happy. Tha wouldn't even be cuckoldry because Cain is such a chad

>>213585477
I think bernard cornwell is ok with it mate, unlike you he sees it for what it is, it doesn't take anything away from him its just a fun homage

>>213578360 (OP)
Nobody gives a shit about nu-40k

Everybody wants empire conquest and horus betrayal

>>213585477
Yes. Obsessing over originality is something that does nothing but expose you as an immature tryhard.

>>213585595
>Everybody wants empire conquest and horus betrayal
Poor little secondary

>>213578468
There's still a lot of red and orange in that painting anon, but back in the 80s, he certainly used a larger palette of colours

>>213586164
I'm convinced Blanche is the most British artist alive. He has gone so far as to incorporate British cuisines aesthetics into his art. Truly singular.

>>213578360 (OP)
Now i feel like rewatching sharpe.

>>213578360 (OP)
Much too trannified to ever have anything interesting again.

>>213583698
nta but some decent Warhammer Fantasy books are
>Drachenfells
>Gotrek and Felix
>Brunner the Bounty Hunter
>Skarsnik
>Riders of the Dead
Unfortunately, outside of Gotrek and Felix and Drachenfells, you're unlikely to get any of these as audiobooks
AoS, on the other hand, has more audiobooks AoS is a bit better outside of Gloomspite, which an anon has already recommended. Some others are
>Bad Loon Rising
>Godeater's Son
>Prince Maesa
>The Arkanaut's Oath

>>213586232
It's also weird since Blanche's mentor Ian Miller loves the colour green and uses it in most of his work

>>213581876
Just finished the night lords trilogy and Octavia gets gangraped by prisoners on crythe in book 1

>>213586275
it's free on youtube so might as well
not like anything modern is going to replicate it

>>213586408
Maesa is cool. GW should use him more

>>213586441
>Octavia gangraped
>Septimus gives her loving, healing sex
>gets the shit beat out of him regularly for it
I hope that used up Navigator pussy was worth pissing off her Nightlord dad.