>>40294143
hugs nona, its demons difficult. im trying to go as sober as i can for july too. spent 200 fucking dollars on alcohol last month without even being aware of it and that realization has really fucked with me.
some things that help me is to try to replace that urge to be drunk with some other stimulation. make something yummy, watch a new movie all the way through and really focus 100% on it, some stupid addicting videogames, typing out all my thoughts into a notepad file. anything to keep yourself from even drinking a single beer.
when it really gets bad and it feels like i'm gonna snap and run to the liquor store, i smoke weed and watch cooking/citywalk videos to keep me occupied. usually works for hours. its still not good at all and maybe not even applicable for you, but you really need to do whatever you can to keep yourself away from the bottle.
im proud you managed to keep yourself from self harming. its not easy. im 1 year clean myself and its been really worth it, even though ive almost gone back to it a bunch of times. its a difficult time to try and stay clean+sober. if you slip, dont be too hard on yourself. always get back up.