>>7618845
>>7618932
in two concepts, line confidence, and value;

you're hatching is too imprecise and inconsistent, and its quite a bit looser then inoues. i noticed a similar issue in your coloured pencil sketch but that media can disguise it by the method of layering colour, on ink it sticks out like a sore thumb

notice he uses it define texture and form (panel 2) it is uniform and considered, I think you'd benefit from having defined blacked out shapes of solid value, then hatching towards that with a gradient. (on her hair, top of her shirt, under shirt, legs) you are also gonna struggle defining dark sky without screen tones (its totally possible, see artists like Frank Booth, or Melissa B. Tubbs)

further push your values, have your lights be lighter and your darks be darker, its why the photoshopped image appeals more, the moon is able to be actually defined as the lightest part of the panel,