Many times when people talk about their NDEs, they describe essentially being in something like Judeo-Christian “Heaven.” No pain, suffering, bright light, a feeling of warmth, etc but that was 100% not the case for me. Wherever I went was anything but friendly or welcoming. Beings were around me on all sides, laughing at me and my torment, my fear. If there is a Hell, I think that’s where I would say I went.

Eventually one of them said “send him back, we are not through with this one.” I’m not sure which one, the voice sounded like it came from none of the ones I could “see,” (that’s a very generous use of the word.)

For context, my older brother murdered me before I was 10 via suffocation. I don’t remember the exact age, I’ve got a trauma history straight out of a Netflix true crime series, so, memories are shitty. It’s a long story.

Back on the subject, over the last couple years I’ve read more about Buddhism, Daoism, Gnosticism, Hermeticism, tried to read Vedic texts, etc in search of answers and haven’t found one that describes where I went or who/what I saw. I can try to answer questions about my experiences, but where are some places I should also look?